Monthly Archives: January 2018

On Turning 30

How do you sum up the last decade of your life?

A decade of laughter and heartbreak.

A decade in which you had over thirty different roommates, moved exactly ten times, bought a house, traveled to Syria on a writing trip, climbed to the top of a 14,000 foot mountain, walked along the Great Wall of China, and married the man you love more now than the day you married him.

A decade when you found the words to name your sins and the courage to confess them.

A decade of brightly colored fish barely skimming your skin as you snorkeled across the ocean’s surface.

A decade of song lyrics that spoke to you:

“So when you run make sure you run / To something and not away from ’cause / Lies don’t need an aeroplane to chase you anywhere” –The Avett Brothers, The Weight of Lies

“All this heaven never could describe such a feeling as I’m hearing / Words were never so useful / So I was screaming out a language that I never knew existed before” –Florence and the Machine, All This and Heaven Too

“Flood waters rise, but it won’t wash away / Love never dies, it will hold on more fierce than graves / Farther than the pale moon rises on the open plains / Past the time and the longest blood line / There shines an immortal flame” –Josh Garrels, Flood Waters

A decade when your belly went from firm to full to soft.

A decade of discovering how motherhood doesn’t just change your lifestyle, but your identity.

A decade of salt water, arctic winters, sunburnt legs, numb toes, static hair, rosy cheeks, sweat, and an ever-growing number of freckles on your shoulders.

A decade of finding peace in nature.

A decade when your traumatic birth experience led you to researching global maternal health and learning that the U.S. has the worst maternal health outcomes of any developed country.

A decade of tossing the laundry in the wash and maybe putting it in the dryer the next day.

A decade that began with ballet shoes and ended with your bare feet.

A decade when you saw translucent jellyfish as big as hula hoops swim alongside your boat and they took your breath away.

A decade of promising to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.

A decade when a faint second line appeared on that stick and your heart grew and the world changed.

A decade when you met a little French boy on the flight from Abu Dhabi to Chicago and wondered who he would become when he grows up.

A decade of pizza and green smoothies and kale and grilled cheese and guacamole and almond butter and fried over-medium eggs with lots of cracked black pepper and coffee, please.

A decade in which you read the entire Bible and discovered the beauty of the Psalms.

A decade when Nathan told you he wanted to watch one of your favorite films with you and you suggested Once and you were worried he wouldn’t like it but he did and you knew he was for real.

A decade of the awe of life happening inside of you and changing you, forever.

A decade filled with the intoxicating sound of your baby laughing, his soft cheek pressed against yours, and the love that washes over us. (more…)